No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize