is your mom at the bar?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
