I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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