I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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