and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
