so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
