we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Houston, we have a squirter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize