Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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