3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It's like God shit irony all over that family
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
