My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
