gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
