So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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