I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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