So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
