I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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