Having a random hookup so left but love u
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
