Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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