Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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