he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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