I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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