someone threw a dead crab at me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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