well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
