Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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