no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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