Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
