tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize