what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
