Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
