Non-Jews are for practice
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Randomize
