Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize