You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
