if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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