Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
