my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
