How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
