yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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