Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize