Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
