I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
