I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
