Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
