to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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