a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
