We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You're a waste of cheezeits
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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