WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
