we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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