Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i think i just lost a toe
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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