she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
