Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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