I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
