I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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