I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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