Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize