I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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