I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
