I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
