I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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