The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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