Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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