the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
