Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
