we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
