Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
