Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
