I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize