I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So much rum. So many feels.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
